Portfolio and Random Works

2011-05-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Star Wars Day. Done quickly so I can do some real work. Enjoy, NEFs.

Nuke the Fridge

2011-02-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

Hello, my NEF's. How are things? It's been a while. I've missed you all very very much. I know you've missed me. Well, here you go. My latest "Masterpiece". Wow, I think I just condescended myself. Awesome. Anyway, If you don't understand it, you probably haven't seen "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". If you haven't, I'd love to trade places with you. If you want the real definition, look up "Jump the Shark" on tvtropes.org. And while you're there, look up your favorite TV show and watch time disappear into a vacuum of nothingness.

Thanks!

2010-08-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hey NEF's! What's going on in the Non-existent world? Nothin? ZING! Love it. Anyway. Here's a guy, I don't know what his name is, but he's this dude my Pops works with. ANYWAY, he's going to be leaving a war zone so he gets this neat-o-keen picture of himself. But, to be honest, all the bald people I draw look the same. Anyway. I know he went to West Point, so I basically made this an ode to the Navy Army feud. So if you're a Navy fan, suck it up. You won the last couple of years anyway.

Later Gang!

A Sad Carousel - The Poster!

2010-07-30T12:02:00.001-07:00

Yeah! This is a poster I did for guy. I wanted it to have both a Tim Sale look and a Empire Strikes Back look, and hopefully I achieved that. Go see the show. It has something to do with the Fringe, but other than that, I got nothing. I have no idea when and where, but just do it. Maybe the internets can help you. It's really funny.

The Greatest Food Fight of All Time

2010-04-16T08:11:00.001-07:00

Buy this book as soon as it comes out! I'll let you know what it happens, NEF's!

Favorite Movie Moments 1 - "Ooooh My Gaaaawd."

2010-04-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hey NEF's! This is part of a new series of my favorite movie moments. There's so many to choose from, but I had this stuck in my head this morning.

Mega Man - COMPLETE!!!!

2010-03-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

Behold! The end of ABWA 1!!! Feel free to leave your envy in the comments section below.

Minnesota Minutia

2010-03-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

Here's the book cover I've been working on for ages. Let me tell you a couple of things I don't like anymore: Water Towers, and Bridges. I've never been a fan of Beau Bridges, and now I'm starting to dislike Jeff and Lloyd. But mostly just literal bridges. The Arial Lift Bridge in Duluth took me the longest. Stupid see through objects.

Despite how many problem I faced while creating it, I like the final. And if you don't, Well, Mister, I'll engage you in fisticuffs. Plus I learned a new word "Minutia" which means "the small, precise, or trivial details of something. Neat!

My New War - Konica Minolta vs. Monster

2010-03-08T06:34:00.001-08:00

Please... someone, tell me what this picture means. THERES NO WORDS ON THE INSTALLATION BOOKLET. No one at Konica Minolta can tell me either because "We don't just keep installation books laying around." They have the most pathetic customer support ever. Do not buy Konica Minolta brand anything.

Dr. Wily, Scourge of the... Mega...verse...thing.

2010-03-03T13:11:00.001-08:00

Hey NEFs! This is Dr. Wily, and he is a bad... (Shaft joke continues, blah blah blah). He makes evil robots for... ya know what? I have no idea. Maybe he's just a jerk. Mega Man is jerk-intolerant. And thats why he fires eggs at them... at least, I think they're eggs.

This will be a faded background to the Mega Man Picture. It'll look better once I start caring.

By NEFs, Sleep Well, I'll most likely kill you in the morning. (NAAAAME THAT REFERENCE. NAO!)

Someone Threw up a Kids Puzzle on my Book Cover

2010-03-03T11:46:00.001-08:00

Ugh. I gag just looking at this, and I created it. WHAT HAVE I UNLEASHED ON THE WORLD?!?!?!?!

ABWA Detail

2010-03-02T12:25:00.000-08:00

Whoooo. Tomorrow the background... DR. WILY (Is this spelled right? It never looks right to me)!!!!

ABWA 1 - Mega Man

2010-03-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

The Start of a New Series: Art Barwhore Would Appreciate (ABWA)

So I have this roommate, his codename: Barwhore. (It's not sleezy, just a play on his last name) Barwhore is a super awesome dude, and his first love is videogames. So this weekend, I decided that I would ask more about his Video Game Past. The First Question: What was your first Video Game System. Answer: The NES. (That's right, we are old.) Who was his favorite character? Mega Man.

Now, something else you should note, his girlfriend is trying to take over his house with girly shit. It's awful. So that's why I started this little ditty, called ABWA. This Mega Man is no where near completed, but after I do, I'm going to print it on canvas and then make him hang it up in a vain attempt to make the house more manly. Cause Girly stuff in a a house of all guys is dumb.

Continue to IGNORE ME, NEFS. (Venture Bros. Reference for the Win.)

Twitter = Deaf People yelling in an Auditorium

2010-02-26T07:59:00.001-08:00

A quick Daily Drawing about Twitter. It truly is a bunch of deaf people yelling in an auditorium. "HEY MY SON JUST POOPED!" "CHECK OUT THIS!" "I PLAY FOR AN NFL TEAM WATCH ME MAKE A JACKASS OUT OF MYSELF."

Why am I aggravated all of a sudden? Well, when someone tweets something interesting, which is very rare, I like to ask questions, put my two cents in, ect. ect. So when they don't respond back, I feel its very rude. One, this is a topic you put out there. So you just wanted to talk? You wanted to "Hear your own voice on the internet" Pffft. Twitter, more of a pain in the ass then its worth.

Business Cards!

2010-02-22T11:57:00.001-08:00

Here's some business cards for a gent who deals with foamy... stuff. I don't understand the science of it, but hey, that's not my job. But it only seems like pluses. So if you're in the Twin City Area, give him a call. He's a rad dude.

"Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude."

-Hansel (He's so hot right now) in "Zoolander"

Monday vs. Monster, 104- 0

2010-02-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

Cripes, mondays are hard! I originally wanted to do something involving CBS's hit reality show, "Survivor" but I just couldn't get it to look right, so I started drawing this robot, and It didin't look right either, so I worked with glowing effects, and they turned out decent at best.... BLAH!!! More to come later, or some other day.

"Dude, what would you do if a Polar Bear walked in here?"

2010-02-19T15:05:00.000-08:00

That was the start of the conversation with my roommate that spawned this little number. "I would get a broom, some tape, and my hunting knife, then I would hold the kitchen door and stab the shit out of it." (Not an exact quote, but eh, close enough.) He then made references to 300 in which I proclaimed I would narrate. "The hunter... stalks his prey, but it is the hunter who will soon feel the sting of death...."

My roommates most notable trait? His anger. So he'd probably find time to yell at me while fighting a polar bear... or maybe just stab me instead.

You wouldn't like me when Im slightly irked.

2010-02-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you people. You are all very lucky I don't have super powers. Cause I would have just became a super villain. This whole week has been shit. But, As I vent this, I feel better. People have started to respond to my tweets, so Im not completely invisible (but I found that out a couple of days ago when I slipped into the womens dressing room...PERVY and Fictional.)

So heres my self portrait in a Tim Sale-esque style done in roughly 10 mins. I feel slow, I feel angry. I have too much coffee in me and the bathroom is too far away. I dont think it will be a new drawing tomorrow, I might just work on this one some more. Don't say I didn't warn ya. But then again. Who the fuck is paying attention?

Later, NEFs.

Harry Potter and the Multiple Lawsuits

2010-02-17T14:40:00.000-08:00

Flippin' A, Son. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling just can't catch a break...well, at least another one. How many people have tried to sue the UK's richest woman? Yes, HP series does have a lot of common themes with existing stories. We get it. But everything can be boiled down to look like anything. Who actually thinks sitting in court is enjoyable? I wouldn't, at this point maybe J.K. could get work as a stenographer... but then again, she's already filthy rich. I just think it would cut the boredom.

Everyone Hates Aquaman...

2010-02-16T13:15:00.000-08:00

Awww poor, Aquaman. X-Play, Seinfeld, The State, Spin City, The Simpsons, The Office, Family Guy, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Spongebob Squarepants, The Fairly Odd Parents, Back at the Barnyard, South Park, and Robot Chicken have all made fun of you. Your powers include talking to the feeesh. But not being able to control the feeesh. So one time a piranha bit off your hand. Oh the irony. Hang in there fella, and if you can manage to not drown, that would be pretty super.

Now THAT'S amore!

2010-02-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

Lovely Morning, my NEFs. Here's what I got my loveah for V-day a nice pictureesque... picture of us! Sappy Words Not included. Blah!

Capes and Babes, check it out!

2010-02-12T08:14:00.001-08:00

Capes and Babes. If you love comic books and internets, you'll love Capes and Babes. Somehow me saying that three times reminds me of "Boats and Hoes" from Step Brothers. But anyway, check it out. RIGHT. FRIGGIN'. NOW.

Forgot the Link, Sorry.

http://www.capesnbabes.com/

NOW GO, My NEFs.

2010-02-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

"Wheeeeeen you're feelin' down, and need to get away from pet peeves, just look at a cute picture of this cat Sleeves!!!"

Still working on a theme song for no apparent reason. So this is Sleeves the Cat, who is cute. Look at those eyes! You're supposed to be going "Awwwwwwwww" and then I'm all "Yeah, Awwwwww is right." So yep. No one comment on yesterdays drawing. Sigh... I hate you guys. From now on, I will refer to you all as Non existent fans! NEFs!!! It was Jon Stewart, you dummy dumbs. Anyway. I draw cute things. Hire me to illustrate your book. Im cheap right now cause Im not famous and poor. But when Im famous, Im going to literally charge you one arm and leg. And then I will keep them in jars in my basement as replacement parts. So, I guess Ill need a lot of left handed clients. Are you left handed?

2010-02-10T10:28:00.000-08:00

Hey... you. Yep, you specifically. This drawing is for you! This person pictured is a famous person that you are supposed to guess who it is. I didn't draw it too well so that some guessing would take place. Then you get to tell me what to draw. Because I'm tired of thinking. And you win a special non-existent prize!!!

I put on my Robe and Wizard hat...

2010-02-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

Ag! I so used to be able to see my pictures, but now? Nothing... NOTHING!!!!

Anyway, this is a wizard probably for my Genre Savvy Story. He is wearing orange cause Purple just seemed a little too Dumbledore. Probably would tame that down if I were to do it again. He's like a Wizard version of Naruto now that I look at it. Cripes. I do like the pose. But Yep. Im boring. I have nothing to say. Maybe you do? Maybe you could put it in my comments? Eh? EH?! Someone talk to me, I'm lonely...

Community on NBC

2010-02-05T14:19:00.000-08:00

Is there funny text above these words?

I usually can see my beautiful picture above these words, but, alas, not today. Anyway. So there is this show on NBC called Community, and it is hilarious. This picture is depicting a few characters. Man. My writing has been awful lately. And for that I apologize. Anyway, jump on over to hulu or NBC.com to watch this truly excellent show.

2010-02-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

HeyheyHey. What's up!? This is guy I like to call Ardor, he's fiery. He has oven mits on. I write like a child today. Hulk Smash. I dont like his costume design, Ill probably have to fix that, although I do like the oven mits. I need to find a way to color faster, and better. Someone... anyone, tell me whats up.

The Shadow Hog Conspiracy

2010-02-03T10:55:00.000-08:00

So this was supposed to be up yesterday, but I was a bit under the weather. So here's the daily drawing contest winnah! Emily the Hottest Chick in the Whole Wide World wanted a picture of Puxa....puxat....Punxsutawney Phil (I love copy and paste, whoever invented that little feature was a genius... although I cant un-Italicize it. Lame.) So here you go, lil' lady. I wonder if they always face Phil a certain direction at a certain time? Cause, that seems like cheating... and not very foolproof of a system. Anyway. Hopefully you guys get a double dose of daily drawing goodness.... but don't count on it. Meanies.

Masters of Animation

2010-02-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody! This is my newest daily drawing! I bet you all can tell who it is without me telling you. No? You've never heard of the Right Hand of Diz-Nee?! How dare you. This man is a legend that I read about early this morning, and shame on you all for not knowing it as well. Naah, Im just joshin' ya, this guy seriously was the bees knees. He was the real creative genius at disney, from what I gathered, as he created both Oswald the Rabbit (Who is > or = to Al Michaels, look that up when you get a second, it's truly hilarious) and Mickey Mouse. When Universal stole Oswald, and hired up all of Disney's Animators, This guy stuck with Disney. Then when Disney became the tyrannical ruler who wanted to eat entire souls, he jumped ship to begin a new studio, but that floundered, and he eventually when into special effects.

If you tell me who it is, Ill let you decide my next daily drawing. If no one replies, then I will continue my streak of streaky randomness.

She-Em! Wait... thats says Sheem. Em-Ra? I dunno.

2010-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

This daily drawing is a special dedication to my number one gal-pal: Emily! She's the tops, the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas! I love her so much, and I want her to have a good day, so if you read this, and you see her, make sure you tell her how pretty and smart and talented she is. If you are rude to her, I will eat your face.

Remy LeBeau - Gambit

2010-01-27T11:22:00.000-08:00

Hello Daily Sketch Fans! Here's Gambit from the X-men. He's doin' stuff. I got a headache. No time for funny.

Anne Battledollars

2010-01-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

Today, somehow, I started researching Lil' Orphan Annie, and came across some peculiar information which led to this lil' abomination. They say that Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks was a rich tycoon of sorts, and that his last name War Bucks might be that he was an arms dealer... or at least, that's what I got out of it. So here is Annie all grown up, now known as just Anne, who's taken over the trade. That gun might have been drawn by Rob Liefeld. Take that!

Genre Savvy - this is my idea, dont Friggin steal it.

2010-01-25T14:07:00.000-08:00

Daily Drawings - I missed Friday (well, I didn't MISS it, it was here, I just didn't upload, because of season disorder... yeah, thats it....) So this is the next of my harebrained schemes (oooh new word, harebrained, I wonder if that derogatory to rabbits?) FOCUS ME: Ok, back on track so this is my new story called "Genre Savvy" its about this fat kid (pictured above) who is so bored with real life that he immerses himself in media, whether it be movies, comics, manga, video games or other random nonsense. He gets sucked into a world and must use his years of learning about trivial stuff and genre savviness to help him solve the dilemmas of that world, whether he succeeds or not remains to be seen. I think the first world he goes to would be a fantasy realm with dragons and hippogriffs and all that jazz, (pictured above with a Red Cap) and... yeah... I got a lot of stuff to hammer out.

2010-01-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

Cannot Draw to save my life today, hand hurts, body hurts, heart hurts.... ow. (That was my one man show on "Ice Station Impossible from The Venture Bros." If you haven't seen that show, then get on it. Its probably the best show ever... if you're not counting Bosom Buddies. But who doesn't count Bosom Buddies? I just like saying Bosom Buddies. Sorry. Well I hope you enjoyed my incoherent ramblings of the day. Join us tomorrow for some more shi-ot that doesn't make sense.

SNL Daily Sketch!

2010-01-20T09:26:00.000-08:00

The Daily Sketch!!! Heres the Not-Yet-Ready-For-Primetime-Players, the First Cast of SNL, and many believe to be the best. Not me, they all have their ups and downs. Oh, and if NBC sees this, or any of the actors, please don't sue me, I only have like.... a half a ream of paper left anyway. And a moldy donut. Please don't take them... they...they're....all I have left.... *weeps* Oh, and special sorry to Jane Curtin, I made you look horrible.

2010-01-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

WOW since the last time I did some Daily Drawings, I got Twitter Followers!!! Neato Keen! Well, this is for the people at Thinkweasel.com, who put out a pretty whiz-bang web comic, check em out! Thanks for the Follow Thinkweasel!!!

Forgot the link, Cripes, good thing my head is connected or probably would have left it at home....or maybe I did.

http://thinkweasel.com/

Go there. Do EEEET.

2010-01-19T11:02:00.000-08:00

Very rough Daily sketch... but I feel it sums up my feelings on the "Unsportsman-like" Vikings running up the score on the Cowboys. Wow. If you think this, You're an idiot. Unless you are my customer who's paying me money, then you are just misguided. Never mind the fact the Cowboys ran up the score on Philly two weeks in a row. Never mind that they used all their time outs in the fourth quarter, like they had a chance to win, so we got another touchdown to prove to them that they were out. Then we get Whiner McWhinerson (Keith Brooking) to say he is looking forward to meeting us next year. Nice, now we know we have to heat up some formula and get your nook ready by the end of the game.

2010-01-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

Daily Drawing! This is my logo as a business... monster thing. Its for the copy room downstairs so hopefully they will put it up to generate business. C'mon people! Get some Graphic Design done, you don't really think that clip art looks good, do ya?

2010-01-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

This is the first of my daily sketches. This one I like to call, "Squid Pro Quo". I'd like to think of him as a lawyer that "Helps you get what you lost, or something of equal value." Or something similar but better.

Monster of the Midwest Blogfolio... or something cooler sounding.

2009-05-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang, glad you could make it to my brand new Blogfolio. Did I just make that word up? Possible, and if I did, I want to copyright it, and charge people a nickel just to say it. So if you read outloud, you owe me a nickel. If you could go ahead and say it around twelve more times, I could afford to get a pop (regional dialect, you may know it as "Soda, Soda Pop, Pepsi, Cola, Coke ect.).

The Portfolio, now shown on the Intranets!

2009-05-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

Portfolio part II, The Portfolio Wars.

2009-05-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

Portfolio part III, Revenge of the Portfolio

2009-05-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

Portfolio part IV, A New Portfolio

2009-05-25T08:54:00.000-07:00